you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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