he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hello my rib-scented angel!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
