You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I think we might need a safe word for this...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
