I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
