I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize