I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
