is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
