Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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