I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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