Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
