If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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