Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i believe in u and ur pee
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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