The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
