Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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