Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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