I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
false alarm, still single
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