i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
