Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
