i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
