halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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