There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
