things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
last night I used snow as a chaser
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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