Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
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If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
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