guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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