nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
