laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
