He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
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What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
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She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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