We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
