accomplished twins. life is a go
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
