i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
