you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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