We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
