I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
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our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
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There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize