Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
