My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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