I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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