the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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