she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
