After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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