I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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