glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
