So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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