ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
