my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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