It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
