Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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