I'm going to jail i love you
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
