Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize