Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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