I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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