i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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