Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
