Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
he puts the penis in happiness.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
