Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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