i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
