WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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