I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
