I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love