PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night