Texts From Last Night

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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it

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  (763): there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it http://tfl.nu/ck34
  Replies (50) Good night (1724) Bad night (3354)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.

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  (204): between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight. http://tfl.nu/u2b0
  Replies (28) Good night (1026) Bad night (4674)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I intend to get homeless drunk

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  (403): I intend to get homeless drunk http://tfl.nu/9yk9
  Replies (20) Good night (5065) Bad night (1461)
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  (845): View more from New York

  so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date

  (845): View more from New York

  i guess it runs in the family.

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  (845): so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date (845): i guess it runs in the family. http://tfl.nu/gfn4
  Replies (6) Good night (5382) Bad night (1015)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.

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  (401): I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes. http://tfl.nu/a6fu
  Replies (12) Good night (5076) Bad night (977)
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  (718): View more from New York

  If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.

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  (718): If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs. http://tfl.nu/jfp1
  Replies (24) Good night (4963) Bad night (1053)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.

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  (406): I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation. http://tfl.nu/zwu5
  Replies (7) Good night (603) Bad night (1482)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.

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  (612): Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine. http://tfl.nu/simr
  Replies (5) Good night (589) Bad night (902)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.

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  (954): Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something. http://tfl.nu/6993
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (843)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER

  (1-319): View more from Iowa

  THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL

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  (319): WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER (1-319): THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL http://tfl.nu/179q
  Replies (12) Good night (2964) Bad night (510)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.

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  (469): So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101. http://tfl.nu/16s8
  Replies (5) Good night (621) Bad night (319)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.

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  (713): She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided. http://tfl.nu/l32x
  Replies (1) Good night (875) Bad night (286)
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  (530): View more from California

  FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood

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  (530): FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood http://tfl.nu/brn4
  Replies (5) Good night (616) Bad night (432)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  ...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.

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  (505): wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days. (505): ...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it. http://tfl.nu/p1xm
  Replies (3) Good night (651) Bad night (438)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.

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  (727): Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up. http://tfl.nu/meqs
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (197)

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