my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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