Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
