I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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