Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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