Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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