I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
