I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
