Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize