i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
