I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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