we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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