Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize