Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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