Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
